THE MOTHER’S SIGNATURE:
The Silent Struggle
By Bernard W. Bail, M.D.
Dr. David Haig, a Harvard
evolutionary biologist, has shown that a mother in pregnancy turns on or off
certain genes of the fetus. There is, he says, “an ‘unconscious struggle’
between a mother and her unborn child over the nutrients she will provide” (Haig,
in Zimmer, 2006). A dazzling discovery!
Following are excerpts from Carl
Zimmer’s article, “Silent Struggle: A New Theory of Pregnancy,” published in
the New York Times on March 14, 2006.
…Dr. Haig argues, a mother and
her unborn child engage in an unconscious struggle over the nutrients she will
provide it.
His theory also explains a baffling
feature of developing fetuses: the copies of some genes are shut down,
depending on which parent they come from. Dr. Haig has also argued that the
same evolutionary conflicts can linger on after birth and even influence the
adult brain. New research has offered support to this idea as well. By
understanding these hidden struggles, scientists may be able to better
understand psychological disorders like depression and autism.
[The child’s] development in the
womb is crucial to its long-term health. So it was plausible that nature would
favor genes that allowed fetuses to draw more resources from their mothers.
Dr. Haig also made some predictions
about the sorts of maternal defenses that have evolved. One of the most
intriguing strategies he proposed was for mothers to shut down some of the
genes in their own children.
Scientists...suspect that [genomic
imprinting] is made possible by chemical handles called methyl groups that are
attached to units of DNA.
Some handles may turn off genes in sperm and egg cells. The genes then remain shut
off after a sperm fertilizes an egg.
Scientists have found that some
genes are imprinted in the brain after birth, and in some cases even in
adulthood. “Imprinted genes and behavior are the new frontier,” said Dr.
Lawrence Wilkinson of the University of Cambridge.
In a paper to be published in The Philosophical Transactions of the Royal
Society of London, Dr. Wilkinson and his colleagues argue that the evidence on
imprinted brain genes—preliminary as it is—fits with Dr. Haig’s theory. They
call it “the most robust evolutionary hypothesis for genomic imprinting.”
One major source of conflict after
birth is how much a mother will feed any individual offspring…nursing demands a
lot of energy from mothers that could be used for other things, like bearing
and nursing more offspring.
Some genes continue to be imprinted
in the brain even in healthy adults. Dr. Haig has proposed that the evolution
of these genes has been shaped by the groups in which mammals live.
Although Dr. Haig puts his theory naturally in the
physical realm—as a biologist—he avers that what he is talking about is
unconscious in the mother. What my work about is exactly what is in the
unconscious of the mother and how that material works in relation to her fetus.
Note also that Dr. Haig says genes can be turned on or off in the sperm or egg
and genetic imprinting can go on in adulthood.
The unconscious of the mother has a vast imprint on a
fetus and, according to Dr. Haig, may occur into old age. Unconscious messages
may be put in the fetus to turn on at any age, even until death.
I would agree with Dr. Wilkinson that genes and
behavior are the new frontier. But what needs to be explored is the mother’s
unconscious mind and how that aspect of the mind can control the genes of its
offspring.
A scientific discovery within the
field of evolutionary biology confirms and supports my own psychoanalytic
theory of maternal imprinting (see Chapter 1, “The Mother’s Signature”),
namely, that women have an unconscious plan about their offspring before they
are even physically conceived—a plan which is turned into reality sometime
during the course of the pregnancy.
This
conjunction between evolutionary biology and psychoanalysis opens up further
questions to be explored, which is always the course of new discoveries. It is
what makes them exciting, and what can be more important than future knowledge
for humanity, as indeed our children are our future—not only in America but the
world over.
Dr.
Haig's nomenclature, "Silent Struggle," accords perfectly with what
we in psychoanalysis identify as "unconscious." And the aim of
psychoanalysis is to make the unconscious, conscious. This serves the purpose
of bringing what was previously unknown into the known realm, and helps the
individual to look at the particular problem in his or her life in the light of
this knowledge: its origins, development and consequences.
It
is my experience in working methodically with thousands of patients’ dreams
over the past fifty years that what a mother unconsciously passes to her fetus
or newborn is often or most often to his or her detriment. Thus, a woman who is
about to become or has just become a mother unknowingly projects her unbearably
painful and unresolved feelings and experiences into the nascent mind of her
pristine and defenseless fetus or newborn.
The
fetus or newborn receives such projections as a severe blow to the essence of
its nascent being. I call this blow “the mother’s imprint.” This imprint will
split the baby’s mind, and will unconsciously determine the nature of his or
her life from its commencement until death. All of this is an unconscious
process, as life is for most people who, as they lay dying, wonder at the
mystery of it all. It does not have to be a mystery. According to Dr. Haig, the
process of turning on and off the genes of the fetus is also unconscious to the
mother.
I
am describing the moment of imprinting and how that moment in time, that pain,
is unbearable to the infant or fetus who consequently does what we all do with
pain—tries to gain distance from it. In psychoanalytic parlance we call this
process “splitting.” The child’s mind is split, and the child tries not to go
there ever again. In psychoanalysis we call that attempt “denial.”
In
psychoanalysis these processes are looked into quite intensively. Since human
beings can tolerate so little psychical pain, psychoanalysis is a process of
revealing little by little and then accommodating to incidents of painful
truths that have been denied all of one's life.
These
processes (splitting and denial) occur in every human being. We all fear
emotional or mental pain. We would much rather, if there is a choice, take
physical pain. Evidence from my work with patients over these many years
indicates that we would much rather have cancer or a stroke or any other
physical attack on our bodily integrity than experience the pain of knowing
what happened to us mentally and emotionally—the when, why, how, and where—that
brought us to our current state of being.
Case
Presentation
Now I want to talk about Dr. D., written about in the previous essay (Why Dr. Dombrowski Doesn’t Have a Life, 2005), whose life and dreams provide a striking example of the process I am trying to convey. Dr. D.’s parents were undesirable as people. Father was a wealthy financier, respected in his community, giving generously to their church, which held him in great esteem. At home -- to the world within -- both mother and father were utter monsters. The father drank to unconsciousness and in the process would beat his wife and/or children for no reason except that they were there daily. He would wave a gun and threaten to kill them all. The mother was hardly better. She was also a drinker and a woman who would physically punch the children for any reason at any time, beyond their knowing whatever it was they did or said.
There were 3 children -- 2 boys and 1 girl. All became alcoholics. The daughter died young drunkenly. The others have had wrecked lives and were unhappy and helpless and completely in the dark as to why they were where they were although each one had somehow obtained an education and achieved a degree of status. Dr. D. is now in his 60’s with 4 disastrous marriages behind him that impoverished him emotionally. More accurately it kept him in the impoverished state he has always been in and financially impoverished him as well, for his wives all spent whatever they could, keeping him in negative balance.
He was, in all this, living out his imprint - one that said he was to have nothing and to be nothing, to know nothing about himself or about other people -- all reflections of his mother’s feelings and experiences of herself. He was also taught in growing up to respect how much was done for them, how much was given to them. It was true, all the children were fed and clothed but they were also beaten mercilessly. All were depressed and hopeless and unknowing about things like kindness, gentleness, awareness of others and their feelings, ignorant of love, indeed unaware of what it was to be a human being. But Dr. D. did have a great intelligence and with this intelligence he could achieve academically and professionally. However there never was, with all the women he married, a feeling of there being another human being. Women were something that could give him sex and sex was what dominated him and motivated him and all the while he noticed there were people who seemed to have more - like children, like families, like wives with whom there was a connection. But it was all foreign to him, incomprehensible.
Dr. D. has been in psychoanalysis a very long time and it is only recently that he is beginning to pay attention to the truth contained in his dreams. Today he is divorced from his 4th wife and is beginning to get out from under great oppression financially and emotionally. He remains still drawn by the siren songs of the beautiful countenance. However, now he will tarry a moment to listen to what his unconscious is saying.
He lives with 12 cats that he has parceled out to various sections of his house and he has a caretaker clean up daily as well as feed them. He has built a fence that contains a low voltage shock. Each cat wears a collar. If they go too close to the fence, the cat is given a shock. The fence keeps them in and predators like bobcats and big cats out, supposedly.
On this morning when he went into the yard where all his cats usually roamed about safely, he discovered that all his cats were in the garage and only one cat remained in the yard - dead - the stomach bitten out by a marauder. He immediately thought a bobcat or a mountain lion had attacked the cat and felt sick as he recalled the burlap bag that his parents used to contain a litter of newborn kittens and made him watch as they threw the bag into their large pond. This was obviously the stimulus of the dreams that followed.
Now comes an hour when he has a dream to relate and at the end of this hour he volunteers to write it down. He feels that the information is more impressed on his mind when he writes down his dreams, so the following is an account, a narrative, of what occurred between him and myself plus his version of what I said.
Dream 1
I am in a large modern living room in an upscale house in front of a large, high window in which there are sliding glass doors going out to a pool area. I am alone with Jennifer, a nurse who works at the hospital, whom I have known for about 10 years, and with whom I am friends. In the dream, Jennifer appears as she did 10 years ago, when she was newly divorced and had not ever been pregnant. At that time, in reality, Jennifer was very attractive and was flirtatious with me and I think had I tried I could have had sex with her but I desisted because I was married. After one pregnancy, since then she has gotten fat and become physically unattractive to me for the reason of obesity. But in the dream she was young and very pretty and I started to kiss her and then to have sex with her. She seemed very eager to have sex and seemed to be enjoying it. When I put my penis in her vagina, I thought that this was the best sex I ever had, since the sensation was very exciting and seemed different and better than previous intercourse. After a few minutes of this a young man appeared next to us, and Jennifer stopped having sex with me and started paying attention to this man and ignoring me. The man was young but seemed to be otherwise nondescript and in the dream I felt he did not have any money, had some very menial job and was a ‘loser’. Nevertheless I was upset that Jennifer had stopped having sex with me to pay attention to him. The idea was that he was Jennifer’s husband or boyfriend. He did not seem to react to me at all.
Associations:
Jennifer in the dream reminds me of Karen, the woman I have had a kind of pre-dating relationship with for the past 5 or 6 weeks, with whom I had a date the week before and who canceled the date at the last minute, supposedly because of illness. Karen has been flirtatious with me for over a year and a half and I had asked her out previously and been refused. I know from talking with her and other nurses that she has been involved in a kind of ‘on again, off again’ divorce with her husband, who is apparently a serial philanderer and who does not help to support his and Karen’s 3 children. She has told other nurses and me that as recently as last summer and fall she ‘tried again to make her marriage work,’ but of course this effort failed. Her husband has recently lost his job and is currently unemployed. She has indicated that she is having a hard time financially and cannot spend as much time as she would like with her children, whom I have met and who seem very sweet. She has told me that she hesitates to date because of the possible adverse effect on her children. I feel that, based on her behavior toward me (other doctors have also remarked on this), she finds me attractive (she has gone out of her way to be nice to me, touching me at work in a seductive way, and has no use for the other doctors) but is somehow held back from dating me.
I have pointed out to her that dating me might well be worth whatever risks she feels there are, since, if things worked out between us and we got married, I could transform her life, enabling her to spend all the time she wanted with her children, and allowing them to have all the things that she has said she wants for them but worries that she may not be able to provide (health insurance, private school, a first class college education, etc. etc.). I have also pointed out that we could enjoy ski vacations in the winter, summer vacations and have lots and lots of fun, since thanks to a favorable divorce, a high income and not having to support a spendthrift wife I am very well situated financially. I have also said all that money and what it can buy is quite empty without someone to share it with, and that I long to have a family and love children. I have also offered her the services of my (very competent) attorney to complete her divorce and secure 100% ownership in her house, which her husband is contesting, since she complained of her attorney being ineffective and unresponsive to her. I have even offered to pay whatever fees might be involved. When I told her all this she seemed to be interested and listen intently but it has obviously fallen on deaf ears in the longer run, since at the time of the dream I had not heard from her in 5 days and she had not returned any of my calls.
Interpretation:
You pointed out that in the dream, Jennifer stands for Karen and that the dream is about my being hurt by her apparent rejection of me, presumably in favor of her husband (the young ‘loser’ in the dream). You pointed out that this rejection is all the more painful because it recalls my mother’s rejection and hatred of me as an infant and her turning toward my younger brother.
My Commentary:
It is interesting and telling that the patient has omitted the most important interpretation that I made. What he has done with this woman, this new woman, is attempt to buy her with his money. It is exactly what he did with all his previous wives and this is exactly what his father did with every problem that beset him in the course of his business and his life. The patient has spent years seduced by this scenario which has cost him a great deal of money and which has always ended badly. In addition all of his marriages began with there being great sexual attraction for him and soon deteriorated into his being abused, ill respected, diminished in every way, reviled and impoverished. All uncannily alike.
I think what is important to note is the depth of his trauma (more specifically illustrated in the second dream) and the eroticisation of that traumatic early experience and all the other ones of his infancy and childhood. (He turns something that is very destructive to him into something that is wonderful. This is how he mentally survived the onslaught of his mother’s hatred). Thus, for him to feel this surge of sexual attraction for a woman is a sure sign of great trouble ahead. Whether he can overcome this well attended trauma remains to be seen.
Dream 2
I am at a hotel-like venue and I find an animal that seems like it is part rabbit and part cat. It is black with a few small white markings and at first I think it is dead but then I pick it up and see that it is alive. I think about adopting it and giving it a home in my house. I hesitate a little because I already have 12 cats (the number I in fact have in reality). I feel sorry for it and am cradling it in my arms when, just as I enter an area containing an indoor pool, an animal I identify as a coyote in the dream (it is about 24 inches long and 18 inches high and looks like a wild dog or coyote) springs up with lighting speed and in less than one second has killed the animal in my arms by opening up a 4 to 5 inch gash in its head, going from the front of the head to the back. I am shocked and horrified by what has happened, and the dream ends.
Associations:
The hotel-like venue: hotels are for staying over night or for a few days. They aren’t a place where one lives; they aren’t a home. Rabbit/cat: I love cats but I was never fond of rabbits. They are frightened animals. The markings: Some of my cats actually have markings. The indoor swimming pool: We have had a pool but it’s outdoors.
Interpretation:
The rabbit/cat stands for my infant self and the coyote or wild dog (to this day I have a hatred of dogs) stands for my mother, and what she does in the dream stands for what she did to my mind when I was an infant.
My Commentary:
This horrific scene describes this patient’s experience of receiving his mother’s imprint. Again we have to consider the lethality of this action to his mind and, it may be that for him to be able to overcome this experience, he will have to be able to mend the rent in his mind to the point of being able to know the signs of another bad experience no matter how beautifully packaged and to step back. This too remains to be seen.
I understood the small markings on the rabbit/cats to stand for having been “marked” at the beginning of life and before, as the indoor swimming pool stands for his mother’s womb where he was “marked,” meaning imprinted, even before he was born.
Discussion:
I think that what better exemplifies this man’s problem is seen in a previous imprinting dream, the first one that he gave me after many years of psychoanalysis.
"He worked an emergency room one evening and a child of ten was brought in who had been hit by a car. As he examined the child he saw that the head was injured but relatively in tact. The chest and abdomen were just about gone. The pelvis and legs were also damaged but capable of recovery."
This dream is a perfect rendition of his life that he has lived without feelings, understandable in light of the dream that clearly depicts almost no chest cavity. It is the chest that contains the heart.
How does one tell what another person is feeling? In everyday life we take for granted that people have feelings and know what we are talking about when we relate events involving other people. My experience tells me that Dr. D. is neither alone nor an exception to having no knowledge of feelings. How does one describe the color red to a person who has never had sight? Yet the problem is clear for this man. A heart will have to be restored, a chest cavity containing it, and an abdominal cavity where, so to speak, experiences can be eaten and digested and ultimately recalled.
Considering this man's mother, it is not strange that his imprint would preclude feelings. It was also how he survived brutal assaults on his physical and emotional body. But having survived to adulthood, how can one live without feelings which ultimately means no life for him of affection and love? And so the silent prophecy was born out. Buying a family does not buy the experience of affection and love that having a family would naturally engender. It is what this man wanted to have desperately. He tried 4 times and 4 times failed. The two dreams here detailed gives one an understanding of the savagery of the imposition of an imprint, foreign to the still soft creatures coming into realization. It gives one a knowledge of the suddenness with which it is experienced. One can recall Wordsworth's poetic expression of "nature being red in tooth and claw.” We are part of nature and no one would argue the cruelty we can and have exercised toward our fellow man. Holocausts and genocides are so much in the news they hardly raise the interest of people anymore, despite great advertisement of such horrific events, and countries supposedly civilized do not run to stop them, as we would imagine they might.
I think to get the fuller impact of this family, I would like to present a dream from a younger brother of Dr. D. This man loves gardening and suffers the effects of his infancy and childhood as might be expected. In his dream he is watching a group of men who are planting a tree. They have dug a very deep hole. It is a big tree and when they lower the tree into the pit he sees that the hole is too deep. The tree will be suffocated or drown. He tells them to lift the tree and fill in the hole with dirt to an optimum height. His main association was to the fact that on exploring a very large ground he wished to beautify he discovered, at a depth of 3-4 feet, old tires and debris of every kind. In the small plot of ground that he was working he uncovered 50 tires and he suspected there were more elsewhere -- a very toxic environment for any living thing. He was not able to clear the ground, as he would have wanted.
An analogy was very clear with his own parents and he said sadly, for he is depressed, "This was how we all grew up. The toxicity was overwhelming". By now he knows about this. What he and his brother have to fight for their right to have an environment in which they can live. Though Dr D.’s external life is good he is weighted down by unconscious injunctions to repudiate whatever is said to him by way of interpretation and enlightenment. Moreover any attempt to escape these "from the grave" parents is full of threat. His feeling is one of dread and he is sure he is courting certain death. This complex is what is at the heart of the "negative therapeutic reaction.” The task of the analyst is to guide this patient through the darkness of his awful fear, to keep him alive and going to the other side of the darkness, to freedom.
The task of analysis as I have practiced it is to rid or diminish the unconscious internal imprint to the point of its having no negative impact on the person's internal or external life. This is a considerable undertaking and roughly speaking can be divided into two segments. The first is to uncover the unconscious imprint, the discovery of which is strongly defended against by every possible defense known to psychoanalysis. In fact my impression is that defenses originate to protect the person from this knowledge from ever coming into consciousness. Secondly, when it does, there are powerful forces constantly at work threatening the person with all kinds of mysterious and deadly consequences that do have tremendous impact on the individual psyche reducing the person to quivering and quailing in front of this leviathan of avengers. In short the message is, “Do not tamper with me, do not even think of it, or else.” Naturally I am speaking of a broad sweep here. In the main the analytic work goes on daily picking up whatever the issue is patiently, even doggedly, keeping to the task at hand with the eventuality of freeing the person from his internal incarceration and fear. Finally, imprinting is a psychological process – the result of a “silent struggle” -- provided by a woman, a mother, and all that unknowingly just as she was herself stamped, as all of us have been stamped for thousands of years from the beginning of mankind, whenever that obscure time began.
1Haig, in Zimmer, 2006.
Copyright © Bernard W. Bail, M.D. 2006
April 2006
REFERENCES
Bail, B., (2001), “The Mother’s Signature,” Paper presented at the American Psychoanalytic Association Discussion Group: Infant Mental Life and the Dream in Psychoanalysis, May 2001. Full text on the Website: holisticpsychoanalysis.com.
_______(2005), “Why Dr. Dombrowski Doesn’t Have a Life,” Full text on the Website: holisticpsychoanalysis.com.
Yuan, Hai-Tao; Haig, David; Karumanchi, S. Ananth, (2005), “Angiogenic factors in the pathogenesis of pre-eclampsia,” Current Topics in Developmental Biology, Volume 71, Chapter 9, pgs 297-312
Zimmer, Carl, (2006), “Silent Struggle: A New Theory of Pregnancy,” New York Times, Science Section, March 14, 2006. |
